Today was one of those days…
Those days in which there doesn’t quite seem like there’s enough seconds, minutes, hours, breaths to accomplish everything that my arbitrary yet ever-present to-do list says I should do. I woke up with my heart heavy with a case of the shoulds, my head already aching with the have-to’s before my feet even hit the floor. Once my feet touched down, the frantic frenzy began. Everything had to be done five minutes ago and nothing was going according to my mind’s plan. Rather than taking a breath and calming the hell down, I kept up my frenzy, finding myself walking in hurried circles amongst dog bowls and tea sets. I couldn’t stop myself even though I knew all too well how days like this end- in a heaping, anxious, tired yet spastic clump of a woman. Me. Continue reading
Nugget doesn’t judge.
As I sat in Nugget’s class and watched her interact with the other toddlers, I realized how truly innocent children are. They don’t hold a grudge over the person who took their ball the week prior. They don’t judge who is wearing what brand and who has a shitty haircut. They just are. I wish, as an adult, to just be able to be in that blatantly innocent way that only children can be. No baggage. No judgment. No hidden meanings. Children say what they feel when they feel it. And in reality, is there something so wrong with that? Why is that a behavior we must “grow out of?” People go to therapy to learn how to effectively tell people what they mean, so why are children raised to repress that innocent, glorious part of themselves? Continue reading
You want time for yourself? I will cut you.
Time. As a mom, it is always time for something. It began when I found out I was pregnant- it was time for my doctor appointment, time to find out the sex, time for my baby shower, and good Lord don’t forget the time for labor. Then with this fresh baby in my arms at home, it was time to nurse, time to burp, time to pump, time for her diaper change. Time. Continue reading