My 20s: An Ode to a Decade

Happy 30th to me!

Happy 30th to me!

So my 30th birthday has come and gone. It seems like everyone wants to slam the 20s as a bullshit decade. Maybe for some it was/is. However, I’ve spent the last weeks of my 20s reflecting on what my 20s did for me, good and bad. While I wouldn’t trade places with 20 year old Sarah now to save my life, I don’t think that the lessons I learned, in what seems to be the most spit upon decade ever, were truly all that bad. So in my true OCD fashion, I compiled a list of things I learned or realized in my 20s. Not too shabby of a decade, in my opinion. So here’s what I learned:

  • I learned how to live alone.
  • I learned how to truly be alone.
  • I learned how to appreciate my parents for who they are now and who they were while raising me and how they are separate entities from me.
  • I learned how to become my biggest advocate- with all things academic, social, medical.
  • I learned the therapeutic properties of cheap wine, a good cry and a long phone conversation.
  • I learned that “No.” is a full sentence and an appropriate answer that does not need an explanation or an apology.
  • I learned how to assert myself & my needs and not feel like an asshole.
  • I learned how I need/expect to be treated by family, friends, significant others, coworkers. etc.
  • I learned that the size of my hips or boobs do not define me.
  • I learned that some trends are better left unfollowed.
  • I learned that I am not going to miss some world-changing event by staying home on the weekend.
  • I learned that honesty is truly the best policy.
  • I learned that life is tough and love hurts and I learned how to move past the hurt and find the good.
  • I learned that a job title does not define me or hold me down.
  • I learned that no one else is going to figure it out for me; to take a leap of faith, a jump into the unfamiliar, the unknown.
  • I learned that my 20s were my battle phase and now I’d like to think I’m moving into maintenance mode.
  • I learned not to judge based on how things appear- friends, jobs, dogs…
  • I learned how to value a Friday night alone, rocking out and dancing by myself or reading a book.
  • I learned that babies are not “just like dogs.”
  • I learned that yoga pants are acceptable everywhere but in court.
  • I learned that I hate yoga no matter how many times you tell me to “just try.”
  • I learned that I can still be an amazing mom even though I was never (and I’m still not) a “baby person.”
  • I learned that a marriage is more than a wedding, and a wedding is more about other people.
  • I learned that my marriage is a team and everyone involved best be on the right team.
  • I learned that I can (somehow) manage to function on 20 minutes of sleep.
  • I learned to use my words and that words can either make someone’s day or tear their world apart.
  • I learned that social media is a savvy name for personal P.R.
  • I learned that the Stones were right; That sometimes you get what you need, not what you want.
  • I learned to pick my battles and fight them both wisely and passionately.
  • I learned how to say “I’m sorry.” and how to admit I was wrong. Neither is a sign of weakness.
  • I learned to trust my gut. Always.
  • I learned that I am way more capable and handy than I ever would have given myself credit for.
  • I learned that even the finest laid plans deviate from their paths and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
  • I’ve graduated and earned two degrees, neither make me more educated than those around me.
  • I have rescued 4 rowdy ass dogs (and rescued 2 more that I found other homes for) and still feel guilty when I see the Sarah McLaughlin ASPCA commercial.
  • I have experienced the joy and horror of my first pregnancy.
  • I gave birth to a beautiful daughter that I would rather die than live without.
  • I learned how to put others’ needs before my own as a standard of living.
  • I learned that I have a chronic neurological disorder that will be with me every step of my life.

I also learned that every step of the way, I will have my person, my people. My husband, my daughter, my mom & dad, my friends that are the sisters I never had. So looking back on it all, through the tears, heartache, body aches and hangovers, I cannot say that my 20s were awful. This decade just barely passed has introduced me to the people I love the most and the person I’m most proud of, myself. Cheers, Sarah. We made it girl.

We got engaged!

We got engaged!

Bachelorette party

Bachelorette party

We got married!

We got married!

We started a family.

We started a family.

My everything.

My everything.

Loves of my life.

Loves of my life.

5 thoughts on “My 20s: An Ode to a Decade

  1. Sh*t. You learned a lot more in your 20s than most people do, that’s for sure. That’s a fantastic list. Your 30s are guaranteed to be even better. Happy Birthday! And I love those pictures.

  2. It sounds like we learned a lot of the same things in our 20’s. I dreaded turning 30, like almost went into a serious depression type of dread and then that day came and went and I realized that I’m actually happier, smarter and all around that more wonderful so it’s all good.

  3. You learned a lot more than I did, that’s for sure. Took me till 33-34 to get most of those lessons and some I haven’t gotten yet at 39! Congratulations on entering your 30s much more prepared than most! Loved the beautiful pictures!

  4. This is a treasure. Everyone always says, “your 30’s are the best years of your life.” I love my 30’s because it started as your list ended (re-order a few). But when I think about this post, it does remind me that my 20’s taught me so much, it schooled my ass. I really love this list. Happy Birthday little darlin’. Find a great pair of jeans you love, do something that your 20’s taught you to like, but your 30’s help you actually achieve, and “hold on for one more day.” I know you asked no advice, but I’m that asshole, you can do so much because you learned so much. I wish I was where you are when I turned 30.

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